HELLO! im back, again. :D so bored la can. im tryin'na test my blog. the words like so wierd can. aiyo eh, dont know whats wrong also. YAY! land training tmr, i hope i wont die half way through. *prays* haha, kidding! hope joe dont kill us, LAUGHS! shake it, shake those ___s off please. shake 'em off me. LMAO. im chatting with JASdearie&my booboo online now(: made up my mind, think its parta His plan too. cuz its like now, uncle louis's working at the simei branch. which means i wont get to see him as often as i did last week. which is positive for me to forget him. &like i always said, let nature take its course. so ill just take it this way. if he doesnt contacts me, good. cuz that way, ill be able to let go. but if he contacts me, which is always bcuz he's bored/needs companion, then ill fall back into the deep deep hole which i've been trying so much to escape from. oh wells, i hope i dont get hurt anymore cuz like im already torned. im taking a break from all these relationship stuff. tired, mentally&emotionally. have a break, have a kitkat! ill await my prince charming, patiently :D i know sometimes i complain here&there about how sucky my life can be. but apart from that, im happy with how my life is right now(: cuz i know i've got my hons right there for me when i need them. i know steph&jas'll be a call away. pohee,cca&myra too. not forgetting, my booboo! all these great people. life wouldnt be as wonderful if it aint for them(: so you know how much i love them already? not yet? its MANYMANY PLENTYPLENTY :D hmmm, still got others la. but for now, its just them. oh! weiting also la. ((((: trust, is so very important in life. be it in relationships, friendships, kinship or whatsoever. it aint easy to trust. but its super easy to break the trust that someone has in you. so in my case, if like i really trust you&you break it simply by lies, ps-ing&so one..goodbye to our friendship. ok, not like really bye¬ talking anymore. ill still talk, message, call etc. but the feeling wont be the same anymore. cuz theres this barrier built in between us after all those quarrels,lies blahblahblah. people say you treat me like a nobody/slave. like when you need me, you call for me. and when you dont, you just throw me aside. sometimes ill think to myself: 'hmmm, true ah.' but at the end of the day, i wont come out with a conclusion. instead, i just stupidly go with what you say. call me stupid/dumb, whatever. thats how i am, im me. cuz i dont know if i would wanta hurt you&we wont even be friends anymore. if im to ask my hons:' is that worth it?' i can bet they're prolly gonna say smth like:'abaden! she treat you like shit you still care so much for her?' they might be meanies for saying such things, but somehow, i think its true. cant blame us either. if you think the gap is nearing, youre wrong. the friendship between all of us&you will just widen more. cuz we're all putting on masks when we're together. to me, it all feels so fake. but yet, no one's trying to do anything. you think you've done smth to salvage that? i think you havent. made it worse, somehow. everything's in a mess now. i dont know why im the one worrying so much, it should be you. cuz at the end of the day, i wont be the one loosing out, its you. i dont know how you're gonna make this better, i dont really care anymore. &sending those emails wont help much, they'd just psuh you to the bottom. gettting all sensative&emotional wont help either, it'd only make things worst. all i've said might sound super negative but im just trying to get the message across, think hard. not with brains, but heart.