its very motivating to hear from sweetheart that she wants to go cebu badly. she asked for me to pray for her&of course, being the sweetest sweetheart on earth, i kindly agreed! -smiles- no lah, even if she didnt ask me to pray for her. ill eventually do so. cuz yea, i know how much she wants to go cebu, to reach out to the people there. now its left with sweetheart&i, the unconfirmed ones. the ones who really wanna go but cant. not bcuz we cant make it financially, not bcuz we're not ready to sacrifice the things here in singapore. but bcuz our parents think its too dangerous. sometimes, its soooo pek-chek when things like that happen. like you&your friends happily say you guys wanna go on some expedition to reach out& bring endless smiles to the faces of those people living in poverty.at that very moment, everything felt so right..so right you'll think smth's wrong. but then, you couldnt really bother. when the real thing arrives, only three are approved, two still needa persuade their parents and one, dangling there. sometime, somehow, i cant really feel her. its sooooo heartbreaking. even the thought that 'oh, maybe she was just pretending all these while.' whats inside really inside you? whenever we talked about visitting orphanages, you shouted with excitement that you'll wanna come along. whenever we talked about how our trip to cambodia was, you yelled about how much you actually could come with us blahblah. and now, i cant really sense your hunger to go there, i cant really feel that you really really wanna go cebu this year. thinking of how hard sweetheart&i are trying to persuade our parents, youre like not doing anything. at all. whats all these sheets? ok, maybe, prolly you tried. but hell, ok. fcuk it. im just damn paranoid, period.